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That pretty much sums up today so far ... and it's not even lunch time. If it wasn't raining I might be really tempted to turn off the computer, walk out of the office and head for the beach.
Unfortunately it is raining so I'm stuck here trying to turn what has been a total waste of a morning into something that might not be a total waste of a day.
As you may have realized from my scribblings here Steve and I are not only working in adult but we're also working over in mainstream web design and search engine optimization too. Working in mainstream ... for real clients ... instead of just for ourselves is certainly interesting.
We meet lots of nice people and we achieve some great outcomes for them but sometimes we have days like today. And boy has today been a doozy and as I said ... it's not even lunchtime yet.
There are times when I look at webmasters who only work in adult and wonder if you realize just how lucky you are. You get everything you could possibly want almost handed to you on a silver platter.
Sponsors give you banners ready-made ... white label sites ... free hosting ... content and galleries that you can use to promote their sites, scripts to make things run better and they'll even give you headers and footers to use to promote their sites. All you have to do is assemble them into something that will sell and you're on your way to making money.
Contrast that with what I've been working with today. The client wants us to build a site for him but he's not really sure what he wants ... but he's sure that he will know what he doesn't want when he sees it.
He hasn't got many images ... well actually he's got a lot but a 100 of them are aerial shots of something that doesn't have a great deal to do with his business and the other 10 were shot in such hi-res that knocking the file size down in Photoshop by a massive 80 per cent still leaves an image with a file size that would take a lifetime to download on dialup.
Somehow I've got to make a header out of some of those that will look good and load quickly. At least the sun is shining in those photos and that's a plus. The last client who wanted some work done had photos that were so dark they looked as though they'd been shot on the set of a horror movie.
That client didn't quite understand that gloomy images that seemed to suggest that a typhoon was just over the horizon were never going to sell anyone on the idea of taking a holiday on a tropical beach.
And then there's the client Steve has been working with today. He wants a place on the first page of Google's search engine results pages (SERPS) for a very competitive term. He already has a site that was built by a guy who uses a very unique form of inter-linking sites and boosting backlink numbers that Google hasn't spotted just yet.
At the moment Google sees that his site has plenty of backlinks ... nearly 200 of them ... and page two of the SERPS is a good place for his site. Of course if Google ever wakes up to what's been going on with those backlinks then the outer-darkness is where his site will end up ... but for the moment it's all good.
The problem for Steve and his client is that if he does anything to take control of the site all those backlinks will disappear – the guy who built the site will remove them in a heartbeat - and the client's site will sink out of sight and when that happens bringing it back to any better place than where it is now will be difficult.
Why will it be difficult? Well page one of the SERPS for the most important term for this site ... about the only term that people search for ... is populated by sites with lots of backlinks.
One of the sites has over half a million of them ... yes that's right ... over half a million backlinks ... and none of the others seem to have anything less than 20,000 backlinks. Of course our prospective client doesn't have thousands of dollars to throw at his site but can't understand why Steve is telling him that we can't help him ... surely the work we do doesn't take that many hours does it?
Yep ... it's definitely been an 'Oh Crap!' kind of day already and I dare not think what the afternoon might bring.
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